As a teenage boy, I searched for approval from people around me. No I didn’t ask but deep down I needed approvals through their words. Hey, see how cute you are or you’re quite good at this would have made me constantly happy. Why did I need people’s words for approval? I’m a real dark-skinned guy and at some point in my life I hated myself for being dark because of how people made fun of my color.
The words they said always made me feel bad but I couldn’t reply. It was obviously true that I was dark but the manner in which they said it was as though my skin color was hopelessly pathetic. The words would replay in my head when I was all alone. That experience was harmful, the only thing I could do in those moments was to smile as if I was enjoying their jokes. I don’t know if there have been times when you faked a smile whereas you were literally crying. And most times it hurts more because those words were said by close people.
I needed approvals so I could find a little bit of happiness when I was alone. Compared to jokes or insults I rarely got those approvals. The more negative words I heard about my color the more I hated myself for being dark and the more I hated myself for listening to them every time. I’m well above that now. I am so proud of my color now and appreciate it more than I hated it but those words did their turn on me. Did I mention I tried bleaching my skin? *Chuckles*
Wording Effect: A Global National Cake
It’s no news about how words affect us as humans. More often than not, I hear folks say the way to a woman’s heart is true words and I wonder what’s the way to a man’s heart if words aren’t part of it. Probably not of the same proportion but everyone is affected by words. Why do you think you blush and get happy when people comment on your looks or work?
Those words have massive effects whether you agree or not. Words inspire, motivate, encourage, and at the same time, demoralize, discourage, and plunge the mind into an abyss of darkness. Now, I don’t mean statements, speeches, or letters which of course are made up of words, I mean words as simple and singular as they are, affects your life.
“Good job, Weirdo, Freak, Fatty (orobo), Retarded, You’re Amazing, Shorty, Superb, or in my case Blackie.” There are countless number of things said or have been said to people that have led them into doing terrible things.
I believe there are two kinds of people who’d read this writing, people who have said things that affected people (positive or negative) and people who have been affected by what others said. Either way, understand that words are powerful enough to create a paradigm shift in your life. Making you do things you never thought was possible.
Even The Strongest Can Get Floored
A true-life story; I heard last week was how a young woman almost ended her life after she overheard her parents undermining her. They spoke about how her elder sister was doing better than her and she was just there. Appreciating the sister’s acclaimed progress in life while demeaning hers. It shook her to the marrow and desperately sought for means to end her life whilst crying uncontrollably.
Parents are meant to be motivation and encouragement but for a very short period they let their words bring shame and suicidal thoughts to their daughter. A person can be totally broken or made through words. How do you react when the people you expect to be your backbone say they’re not sure any good can come out of you or in the heat of their anger say you’re worthless or just ridicule you?
Depression at times isn’t caused by something that has happened but what has been said. The mind amplifies it to become thoughts of dejection, loneliness, and insecurity. Creating a world of your own that says no one cares, no one understands, and how you wish you were born into a different family or location or how best you could live without having to deal with people.
I sincerely urge you to be more cautious about the words you say to people and even to yourself. Do not allow anger to cause you to utter hurtful words. Whether when you’re angry or you’re joking, be mindful. If you’ve said it mistakenly and noticed how it’s affected people, be polite and apologize. It costs you nothing to say ‘I am sorry’ and it costs everything to someone to not say it.
If you have been hurt by words in the past, I am sorry you had to go through that. Please understand you’re gold, you’re amazing and you’ve got a bright future. Don’t allow someone no matter who that is to define who you are by their words. You are really an awesome personality, never forget that. Whatever it is you might be going through would pass.
I sincerely urge you to be more cautious about the words you say to people and even to yourself. Do not allow anger to cause you to utter hurtful words. Whether when you’re angry or you’re joking, be mindful. If you’ve said it mistakenly and noticed how it’s affected people, be polite and apologize. It costs you nothing to say ‘I am sorry’ and it costs everything to someone to not say it. Cheerios, my friend.