You’re a man! Real men don’t cry, you shouldn’t show weakness or who would consider you as a man? This is a strong ideology that society has engraved into the minds of the male child and so we go around with strong negative emotions bottled up inside with no outlet to vent.
It’s socially okay for a woman to break down and express emotions but you see we’ve been hotwired to think only not-so-real men should do that. Maybe real men don’t cry, they wine (pun intended).
Many of us, while growing up, saw our fathers as a strong-willed, hard-to-please masculine figure who seldom showed empathy and this has been registered in our subconscious that a man doesn’t show emotions. Do they even have emotions?
Men suffer emotionally and anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know any better. I don’t only mean the relationship I-love-you-and-you-don’t saga, I mean the mental health type of suffering.
The pain from broken homes, abusive parents, toxic relationship, rape, betrayals from trusted acquaintances, loss of a loved one, the pressure of being the sole provider, the insults from insecure bosses and so much more. Men do suffer but do in silence and research has shown more men die from heart attacks than women. I believe you know why.
The unwritten rule of silent suffering dictates that to move on, you have to suppress the pain or distract yourself from the pain. However, the results have always been more disastrous keeping the cycle of pain going usually at the expense of everyone around them. Unchecked emotions always leave the man and the people he claims to care for in terrible situations, always wondering how they got to that stage.
Tell which is more manly: To not show emotions and bring pain to everyone around you including yourself or to deal with it and spread love and light. I know you want everyone around you to see you’re hardworking, strong, independent, and have it all together.
You can feel the hurt every time but you’re terrified that what you’re going through might not make sense to them. You say it’s better to be safe than sorry but you see the damage it causes you. And feel it. It is alright to air your emotions, don’t allow society’s hypermasculinity to keep you down. You’re human and humans should express emotions.
“Real Men don’t cry- That’s how sadists are born.”– Ila Dhad
How can I let go of the pain and emotions I feel without people looking at me as being a weak man? Two options: Individual Therapy and Group Therapy ( men only).
Therapy is simply treating an issue without using drugs. Please don’t forget abusing drugs or anything to deal with emotions doesn’t work. You need to talk about it with someone, go back to where those hurts started. You don’t have to carry those weighty burdens on your own, believe me. It doesn’t make you a real man.
A real man owns up to his current situation and decides it can be changed. What issues are overwhelming you? Trying to make ends meet, being the breadwinner, not knowing what step to take next, and countless more. Reach out, please. You deserve to be heard and not share that burden alone.
Quick Notice: I know what scares us as men to face our issues is because we don’t want people to see us as less of a man or judge us without even knowing us.
Reach out!. There is someone to talk to, kindly send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org for free therapy sessions. (This offer is just for 50 people. Plans are being made to accommodate more in the future.)