“The Past is Always Knocking at the door trying to break into Today.” – Neil Gaiman
It is said that some of the darkest emotions we face flood our mind at night when we become lost in thoughts and tears from our eyes drain our pillows. Other times it just might be something we saw or heard that brings out those emotions.
In these moments apart from thinking about current challenges, we are often plagued with thoughts of how we got to the point we are. Then comes the sighs, then position changing on the bed then regrets then sometimes depression or more tears.
“How I wish I could go back in time before all this happened and my innocence was stripped from. I know I wouldn’t have turned out this way if I did things differently.” Regrets and guilt step in and those are really terrible states to be in. You’d agree if you have experienced this and even if you’ve not, it’s still not something you’d want to.
This is no joke, the past hunts people down in their thoughts, dreams and sometimes it comes knocking on your door on a Monday morning. However, it is still the past no matter how fiercely it roars at you. That’s why we have three tenses; the past, the present, and the future.
The past made and gave you the experience you have in the present; the present gives you a clean slate to rewrite your story and the future is a distant cousin to hope. So, in the present, you change the experience gifted by your past and the future gives you hope that you’d get better with time.
When the echoes from the past come knocking, it is important that you remember why you have become this new person with an emphasis on the characters of your identity. Remembering the “why” gives your mind the choice to not allow those thoughts to knock you out.
This isn’t just some theory on the internet, I urge you to give it a try. If you find it difficult to remember why to pick a pen and paper and write out who you are (identity) in the present. Even if the thoughts intensify, write still and say it till the words resound and take roots in your mind.
Then you probably can go for a walk or play or do something but please I recommend it in this order. Some people like to use drinks or something similar to forget their worries. What that does is it postpones the thoughts to a different time, it’ll still come back harder. If possible in your free time put up those writings on the walls in your room or places where you frequent.
Don’t forget this: Irrespective of what you have done that’s hunted you down for a while, you need to forgive yourself. You are not those things. I hope this brings peace and blessings to your heart.